Beyond Affairs – How To Forgive Your Spouse and Move Beyond The Affairs
Beyond Affairs is a candid look at what
usually happens when an affair is
discovered and how to get past it to the
healing phase.
It can be very difficult to forgive your spouse when you realize that he is cheating. This betrayal has resulted in failure of many marriages of the years. A wife who has been betrayed can take many years to heal, especially if the process is not handled properly. Too many times, a hurting wife is admonished to move beyond the affairs. It is not that simple.
Beyond Affairs – Helping the Hurting Spouse to Understand
In almost all cases of cheating, a husband or a wife is trying to meet a need that was not really met in the relationship. The man or woman who cheats is usually searching for something that he or she does not have at home. Often too, it is only when they try to move beyond the affair that the real reason for the affair is uncovered. Husbands and wives should spend time talking to each other before an affair happens. I do not mean that they should chit chat.
Chit chat is talking about the weather, gardening, or some other non-essential topic. Couples should talk about serious stuff like what they like, and what they don’t like, and how they can really find more ways to please each other. It is a pity that couples only find time to talk seriously about their relationship when they are forced to do so, as a way to move beyond affairs. This talking only takes place after the affair has already torn them apart.
By talking with each other often, they will get to know each other better. If an affair has happened and the spouse who has been hurt decides to forgive the other, the matter of understanding is going to be critical. why did it happen? What does she have that I don’t? What attracted you to him or her? These are just a few of the hundreds of questions that will come up. The partner who cheated must be prepared to answer every question as patiently and as truthfully as possible. This is the only way the other person can move beyond the affair.
Beyond Affairs – Helping The Hurting Person By Being Patient
A husband who has cheated on his wife is going to find that his wife will need a lot of patience. This is so, especially if she decides not to file for a divorce. Many often women simply give up on their husbands, after an affair. Though the woman is quite within her rights to do so, it is often to the advantage of both spouses to seek counseling and to heal together. This is hard to do, but the rewards are worth it. Moving beyond the affairs is so much easier to do if both of you are committed to going the distance with a rock-solid commitment to each other.
If you cheated on your spouse and you are the husband, your wife will wake you up in the middle of the night to ask you questions about it. Don’t roll your eyes and dismiss her. Be patient with her. Answer her questions, and help her to heal. Assure her of your commitment to her so that your life beyond the affair can be better than it was before. Many cheaters blame their spouses for their own infidelity. Don’t fall into that trap. It is an escape hatch that leads to further betrayal and hurt.
Beyond Affairs – Knowing The Truth About Yourself Once You Have Cheated
One of the most startling truths that many people do not know is this: After you have cheated on your wife or your husband, you no longer love that person! That is not a life sentence to the prison of everlasting punishment. It is just a fact of life. When you cheat on your spouse, you develop what the Bible refers to as a heart of stone. You have developed a hardened heart. Try as you might, you will not love your spouse, even if he or she still loves you. You cannot really move beyond the affair until you address this problem! Let me explain what is needed.
Beyond Affairs – How To Exchange Your Heart of Stone for A Heart of Flesh
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh”. Ezk. 36:26. This scripture provides a clue to what is going on in your heart. When a spouse cheats, a soul-tie is created with another person who is not your husband or wife. This sould tie prevents you from loving your partner. In order to love her or him, that tie must be broken. However, we cannot do it. Only the Lord can do this, and this is why we need to ask the Lord Jesus Christ to remove our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh to love our spouses again.
Beyond Affairs – How To Affair-Proof Your Marriage
There are so many people who are hurting after an affair. I can name many whom I know personally. If you are not one of them, then you may know some. Share this article with them. Helping them to heal is one of the best things you can do for a hurting spouse. Men who have cheated on their wives are usually very angry. It is this anger that becomes a stumbling block to healing. They cannot hug and assure their wives because they do not know how. Their anger gets in the way.
Wives too become very angry after their husbands affairs. To move beyond affairs and into the realm of love, trust, and happiness, some work has to be done. Someone has to take the initiative to begin the process of learning and healing.
Are you ready to affair-proof your marriage? It takes commitment and knowledge to avoid the traps of adultery because it is so easy to do. The first step towards having an affair-proof marriage is to protect yourself as a man or women. You have to commit to ‘placing no wicked thing before your eyes’.Psalm 101:3. Men are attracted to what they see. By avoiding pornography, and every lustful situation, you will be making a giant step to affair-proofing your marriage.
See My Resource Page for more information.
Beyond Affairs – Final Thoughts for a Happy Marriage
There are many other ways to create a buttress for your marriage. I encourage you to continue your search. I will continue to add to this blog, as the I can do so. Your wife is worth it. There is a reason you fell in love with her. Cherish her and love her as “Christ loves the church…” and you will do well.
Yes, move beyond affairs to a live of love, peace, and harmony.
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